Principle 1: If You Want to Train Your Child Properly, Train Them in the Way They Should Go and NOT in the Way That They Want to Go!

Remember that all children are born (and adults too) with a propensity towards evil (Psalm 51:5) - this is what it means to be Totally Depraved as the old reformed doctrines states it. We believe this doctrine wholeheartedly because it informs us how we are to view God, man, and life in general. Therefore, if you let your children choose for themselves and make all the big decisions in life by themselves, they will most definitely choose wrong. We must remember the age old principle that the "heart is deceitful" and "prone to wonder" (Jeremiah 17:9).

We don't know exactly what our children will when the "grow up," especially when they are infants. Will they be tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish, doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc. All of these things are really just unknown when you have young children. However, there is one thing that your child will most definitely be: a sinner. All children will have and do have a sinful and corrupt heart. It is our human nature to do wrong. This is one of the reasons why they need parents.

So if you want to parent wisely and diligently, according to God's direction, you must not leave the child to their own way and their own will. Being a godly parent means thinking for your children and making sound judgments for them. Parenting according to God's standards means not leaving your child to their natural inclinations.

You must know that as a parent, you have been given the god-given rite to decide what is good for your child's mind and soul, what they should eat and drink, and what they should wear, etc... You are called to be consistent and faithful in your parenting according to this principle. God wants us to train our children in a way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that a child thinks is best for him or her.

If you do not decidedly affirm this first principle of Christian parenting, then raising a child in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" will be extremely difficult. A child's desire to self-govern is the first thing that can appear in a young adolescence's mind, and it must be your first action in parenting to resist the temptation to give into your child's every desire to fulfill their happiness at all cost.

Parents, remember that in your parenting, the goal of parenting children through the infant, toddler, elementary, and adolescent years is to train your child in light of the fact that one day they will be an adult. They will be an adult more of their life than they will be a child so it is imperative that this principle informs the way we parent - this is what it means to train them in the way they should go - guiding them into adulthood, not dropping them off at the steps of adulthood.