Are you living with "Wild Things?"

Wild Things:  The Art of Nurturing Boys 

by Stephen James and David Thomas

www.stephenanddavid.com

A Review by Wilson A. Shirley

Probably my favorite childrens book growing up was Where the Wild Things Are.  I'm not sure why - maybe its because I could identify with it growing up with four brothers.  My relatives used to call me "Wild Willy" so I'm sure that had something to do with it.  

I live with two wild things, and maybe even three by August, will see.   Not that my boys are overly ADD and uncontrollable but wild in the since of raw, adventrous, fearless.  I love it when I get home in the evenings and the unsaid announcement begins, "Let the rumpus start" like Max from the Where the Wild Things Are.  I do love my wild things.

I've always wanted to be a good parent.  That was something important to me way back from when I decided I wanted to marry and be a godly husband and dad (I definitley pictured having a boys).  Laura and I have always valued the importance of reading and studying parenting - Lord knows we got the books - I love some books.  However we haven't been able to find many books that I'm willing to say, "read this book, it will help you parent."  Most books are just about parenting.  

Well Wild Things is more than just a book about parenting - it is written by two guys, Stephen James and David Thomas, who are counselors and parents.    They write with great wit and wisdom.  I loved their book Becoming a Dad which I also recommend.

Okay, I must confess, I have not read this entire book, but that is by design.  James and Thomas address five stages of boys and each stage represents an approximate age range so I only read the ones that apply for now.  However, the second half of the book gets into the mind of a boy and is more general.  

I love this book.  It is amazingly practical and funny.  For instance, each section that deals with a certain stage has four parts, 1) The Lay of the Land (what's a boy like at this stage), 2) Who He is (personality). 3) What He Needs (self-explanatory), and 4) Putting the Principles into Practice (actual parenting advice for real-life situations).

If you have boys, read this book.  James and Thomas take adolscence all the way to 22 in this book (which may be a stretch but there are some good arguments for that), which means its never too late.  Even if you have grandchildren read this book so you can HELP!

Read it!  You want be disappointed.  You will laugh, you will cry, and you will be encouraged to parent and love your "wild thing."

Do You Have a "Frantic Family?"

A review on the The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family.

Are you a "frantic family"? I think most families in the 21st century would agree that a little more calm and order in their lives would go a long way for peace and sanity. So, are there some practical things that you can do to bring a little more "method to the madness" when it comes to your family?

Author Patick Lencioni is one of my "go-to-guys" for leadership material. He has written some fantastic books on leadership that apply to a wide variety of leadership positions. His consulting firm, The Table Group, specializes in helping their clients achieve the effectiveness their company needs to succeed.

Over the years of consulting and writing books on leadership, Lencioni noticed a popular theme (or common problem) among the CEOs and leaders that he was working with. That common theme was that most of the leaders agreed that if they ran their businesses like they ran their homes their businesses would crumble. So Lencioni, being a Christian and a family man himself, set off to write a leadership fable to help take the "frantic" out of family life. At this juncture, I heartily recommend The 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family to you.

All of Lencioni's books begin with a fable, a story, that accounts for about 75% of the book. These stories are engaging, fun to read, and best of all, real life! What you may or may not realize is that while you are reading this story he is teaching you - he is teaching you the plan or the model for leadership that you should adapt. In the case of The 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family, Lencioni is using a real family with real issues to help you learn along the way. In the remaining 25% of the book, he explains the "the 3 Big Questions" and tells you how to apply them to your family.

So what is the model? Should I just give it to you so you don't have to read the book? I don't think so - you need to read it - it's just too good. You can pick it up at your local book seller. I will tell you that my family and I have started to apply the model, and we are excited about the possibilities. If nothing else it made us talk about family goals and objectives instead of just assuming that we were on the same page. The 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family got us on the same page. No, this book is not the silver bullet to kill all the craziness of family life, but it is a book that can help you bring into focus what YOUR family needs to be doing at the moment.

To learn more and explore the model, visit: www.thefranticfamily.com

Enjoy!

Principle 3: Train Your Children Realizing That Much Depends On YOU!

We are all shaped by our parents in one way or another. As a young adult think about the number of times you said, "I'm not going to raise my children this way... like my parents did," and then Lo and Behold, you are doing it. Why? Because you have been shaped by your parents, you have learned from them. Ryle says, "We are made what we are by training."

Perhaps nothing is more important in the early years of life than education (aka child training). We place a lot of emphasis on education - especially as Americans. Moms spend countless hours worrying, studying, investigating where they will send their toddlers to preschool and then where they will go to elementary school and so on. High schoolers spend countless hours doing the same thing - figuring out where they will go to college. We invest a lot of time and energy on education. But what about education in the home?

Perhaps no education is more important than what takes place in the home during the early years. Our early habits that are formed come about through early education in the home. Who we are now was shaped very early on from the doctorate degree we earned from home (for most of us this is about 18 years of education).

Think about this for a moment - We are very dependent on those who raise us, are we not? We get our color, taste, likes, dislikes, language, mannerisms, and much more from those who raise us - namely our parents. Again, think back now as an adult how often you catch yourself doing the same things and even saying the same things that your parents did and said. It has been said that 90% of us do what we do, good or bad, because of our early child training. Sounds about right.

All of this is what makes your job, as a parent, so IMPORTANT! God, in His rich mercy, has given children to you with a very impressionable mind - a mind like moist clay ready to be molded and shaped in the way that YOU make it. God gives you a golden opportunity to raise them in a way that pleases the Lord and a way that is for their good. Do not forsake this opportunity! Do not neglect your duty! Do not throw away the opportunity! Once these impressionable years have passed, they are gone for ever. Much depends on you!

One word of caution: Do not become delusional and think that you, as a parent, have no place in the training of your children and that they must just learn for themselves and all you need to do is sit back and wait for grace to intervene and change your child's ways. If you aren't going to train them, somebody else will - namely the world and Satan. The enemies of God would like nothing more than you to neglect your God-given task of raising your child in the way he should go.

As you go forth in your parenting, go forth with the knowledge that God has commanded you to train your child in the way he should go and God will not call you to any task for which He does not supply the grace for you to perform the task or duty. The path of obedience to His commands and teachings is the path that God will bless.

I leave you with this profound thought from Ryle: "We have only to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water-pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn water into wine."

How Do I Raise My Children to Be Godly?

"What must I do to teach my children to be godly?" is a question you might have pondered, or something like that. Pastor Allen Baker gives us great insight into this most holy call of all parents. You may find the devotion by clicking here! Please read this article - you will be glad you did!

Is It Okay That My Daughter is Reading "Twlight?"

Needless to say the book Twlight is somewhat of a craze among teenager women right now and to say that it is "somewhat of a craze" is an understatement. Emily Craft, Womens Student Ministry Coordinator at Highlands Presbyterian Church has written an excellent article critiquing the widely read book.

ATTENTION PARENTS! Got questions about the book and what it is communicating? This is a must read if your child is reading Twlight. Check it out here.

Raising Boys to be Men

I recently came across an excellent resource on this matter of raising boys to be men. Albert Molher's little pamphlet, From Boy to Man - the Marks of Manhood, is an excellent resource.

When does a boy become a man? When do we start to move our boys to manhood? What does moving our boys to manhood look like? Dr. Molher explains.

• From Boy to Man - the Marks of Manhood, part 1
• From Boy to Man - the Marks of Manhood, part 2
  

Beyond the Internet Filter: Are you really stopping your children from viewing elicit material on the world wide web?

Much to my chagrin, I learned today some pretty scary stuff about ways in which pornography can enter your home even when you "think" you are doing everything to stop it. Pastor Brunson passed this article along to me that is a must read for parents seeking to protect their children from elicit material on the Internet.

You can find it here.