How Important Is Social Media for Your Family?

Watch this video.  It is fascinating.  As a parent, you need to know this world that your child lives in - that you now live in.

Are your children into "Moralistic Therapeudic Deism?"

Very interesting article from CNN:  http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/27/almost.christian/index.html?hpt=T2


Much of the information from this article is pulled from the book below.

Dad's - Great Post on Shepherding Your Children

I think all dad's can benefit from something similar to this post. Please click, read, and apply!

How can I make sure I am individually shepherding my children?

Principle 6: Train Your Child to Love Prayer

J.C. Ryle is very famously quoted as saying that "Prayer is the very life-breath of true religion."  Is that not so true.  At the very heart of our relationship with God we have the privilege and the access to pray, to talk to the all-holy God of the universe.  Prayer is in fact an evidence of faith.  Pouring your soul out to God in a manor or worship, confession, and thanksgiving is proof of being born again.  What more could we want out of life than our children to be born again?

Prayer is the very life-breath of true religion.

Ryle goes on to say, "When there is much private communion with God, your soul will grow like the grass after rain; when there is little, all will be at a standstill, you will barely keep your soul alive."  Prayer is the means by which we grow in the Christian life.  A growing Christian is one who often talks with the Lord in prayer.  A growing Christian tells Jesus EVERYTHING and ask for spiritual discernment.

What do we teach out children about prayer?

• It is the greatest tool that God has given us to access the riches of His grace.  It is the way in which we can cry out to God and He will hear us.
• It is the simplest way that we can go to God.  Everyone can pray.  

Parents, if we love our children and care about their eternal souls then we will do everything within our power to train them in a habit of prayer.  How you may ask?  

• Pray with them.
• Pray for them.
• Show them how to begin prayer.
• Tell them what to say.
• Train them to persevere in prayer.  

I am not a perfect parent nor am I a perfect Christian who prays all the time.  But I do love prayer and I do long to teach my children to love prayer.  One of the things that has been the most encouraging about prayer with my children is that at the earliest possible moment that they could utter words we started practicing our own family prayer that we say most nights.

Jesus, we love you.  

Thanks for being our Savior and our King!  

Amen!

We must be keenly aware that our children will learn to pray or not to pray from us.  If there is any component of spiritual discipline that we must play a large roll in, it should be that of prayer.  I've never hear a young adult or a seasoned adult, that was recalling their childhood, ever tell me that they wished their parents had taken them to do more fun stuff, or made them travel on more sports team, or made them study harder.  No, I've most often heard these folks recollect how they wished their parents had prayed with them more, read the Bible more, engaged them more in spiritual disciplines.  

The mission is clear for parents, we must train our children to pray.  If we value the soul of our children, then we must train them in the habit of prayer.

Apparent Privilege

May I recommend to you an excellent book on parenting called "Apparent Privilege" by Steve Wright.

From the book:

Parents, you have the greatest privilege of your lives in front of you every day; raising your children.  Pointing your children to Christ, modeling the Gospel, and talking about God's grace shouldn't be a burden.  It is a privilege.  Apparent Privilege provides biblical understanding and the latest research to encourage you in the unparalleled opportunity to be the primary influencer of your children.

 Please pick up the book here.

Sinking Stones and Evening Devotions

Sinking Stones and Evening Devotions

Posted using ShareThis

Never Underestimate Your Importance!

As a parent of a teen or a parent of little ones, it's easy to underestimate your importance and influence in the life of your child. I know I forget this often - especially as my little ones are becoming more and more independent.

I'm reading The Space Between by Walt Mueller. He writes about influencing your kids by just being available to them. I'm a planner and I think that I must always plan time with my kids. Mueller writes:

Recently a friend, and the father of three teenagers, asked me, "Do you now when my kids want to talk to me?" "When?" I asked. "Whenever they want to." He was learning that you don't necessarily schedule time with your kids as you once did. Instead, you make yourself available at even the most inconvenient times. you must always be ready to take advantage of relationship-building moments.

I need to hear that and practice that!

I plan to review The Space Between when I'm finished reading it.

Principle 5: Train Your Child to Know and Love the Bible

We don't love our Bibles enough. And because we, as parents, don't love our Bibles enough our kids don't love the Bible. Walt Mueller (of www.cpyu.org) says to parents, in his work about teenagers called The Space Between, "It is important to be about the business of developing your own inward character in a godly direction" in order to convey godliness to your child. That is convicting. Are you reading your Bible?

What is even more convicting is that my 3 and 1/2 year-old is mimicking everything I do right now. If I'm up at 6am in the morning reading my Bible he wants to be right there with me doing the same thing. I recently had the wild idea that I was going to teach some Scripture to him to see if he could memorize it. I had little hope that he would be able to memorize an "adult" translation of the Bible. Moreover I probably picked one of the hardest verses for a 3 year-old to memorize, 2 Corinthians 5:21, "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." I love this verse because it is the gospel in a nutshell and I thought to myself, "what better verse for him to learn." Again, I had my doubts but in 3 days he had it down pat - no problems - the only word he has trouble with is Corinthians but I'm going to let him slide on that.

All that to say, we are given a huge responsibility to train our children to love the Word of God and if we don't do it early and often, while their minds are these incredible sponges little sponges, we will fail in our duty. We will also fail to follow the directive of Proverbs 22:6.

Granted, we cannot make our children love the Bible, only the Holy Spirit can do that, but we can place the Scriptures before them early and often in as many creative ways as possible. Make it your goal to get your children acquainted with the Bible. One way to do this, no matter what age they are, is to buy them a Bible. If they are older take them shopping to buy one. If they are younger I recommend The Big Picture Story Bible.

Think about it, a decent knowledge of the Bible is the foundation of a solid view of what Christianity (following Jesus) is all about. How many times have you told your children, "if I only knew what you knew when I was your age I would be a better Christian and further along in my walk with the Lord." I know I have said that. What do you inspire your kids to be: athletic, intelligent, beautiful...or godly? Ryle says that "any system of training which does not make a knowledge of Scripture the first thing is unsafe and unsound."

It is a weighty task, but God has given parents the responsibility to us to train our children to read the Bible. We are to train them to look to it for answers. We are to train them to look to it not as the word of man but the Word of God. We are to train them to see it as truth. We are to train them to love it. We are to train them as Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:14-17:

14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Parents, see to it that you are reading your Bible regularly and likewise train your children to do so. If they are too young to read, read it to them. Train your children to see the Bible as just as necessary as their daily food. See to that they read all of the Bible and are exposed to the whole counsel of God. Do not shy away from all the doctrines of the Bible - children are able to understand far more than we realize.

I'll close with Ryle's apt instruction to parents in regards to the Bible:

Tell them of sin, its guilt, its consequences, its power, its vileness: you will find they can comprehend something of this. Tell them of the Lord Jesus Christ and His work for our salvation - the atonement, the cross, the blood, the sacrifice, the intercession: you will discover there is something not beyond them in all this. Tell them of the work of the Holy Spirit in man's heart, how He changes, and renews, and sanctifies, and purifies: you will soon see they can go along with you in some measure in this.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." ~ Psalm 119:105

Making Christ the Focus of Christmas with Your Family

I recently discovered a few books that I want to share with you that I think could be very beneficial in helping you to teach the message of Christmas to your family.

The first is "The Christ of Christmas." These are a collection of sermons from the late James Montgomery Boice. It is an excellent book that presents the Christmas story in many fresh messages. I encourage you to get the book and read one chapter at a time, and then read the scripture that is associated with each chapter to your family and share some devotional thoughts from each chapter. It will bless your soul and your family and help keep Christ at the center of Christmas time.

The second are some children's books on the Christmas story by Carine Mackenzie. I have purchased "Shepherds Find Jesus" and it was excellent. My children were captivated as I read it to them and better yet it proclaimed a wonderful gospel message and not just a cute Christmas story.

There are others by Mackenzie about the Christmas story that you can find by clicking here.

All are on sale now at www.cvbbs.com.

A Little Twist on Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." ~Proverbs 22:6

I have recently been doing some reflecting and studying on this verse. I also have been learning Biblical Hebrew which means I'm now armed and dangerous. In my musings and studies I came a cross an article that explored the original meaning of this verse based on the Biblical Hebrew from which we get our English translations.

To make a long explanation short and less boring I will just say that the original Hebrew suggest another way in which this verse can be read/interpreted. It is hard to get the exact since in English as it is in Hebrew but it may read something like this: "Train up a child in his way and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Did you catch the subtlety of that minor change? In other words in our child rearing if we just let a child do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and in "his" way then that is the only way he will know. If we train him up in "his" way than he will be raised and taught to think that the world revolves around him and he can get whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Often times parenting can just default to this line of thinking and child training. Parenting is hard and often times it just seams like too much work to get a child to obey you and obey the Lord. That's the beautify of this subtle change in the interpretation. It should convict you thoroughly. If you train your child to think that he can live and act however he wants, then when he is all grown up - then that is exactly how will act.

How we raise our children matters now. If we train them now to follow the Lord's way and shepherd the hearts to live obediently now - it matters well into the future. So let's heed this simple advice and this slightly different twist on this well known Proverb. Let's train our children according to God's way, training them to live a life of obedience under God and under the authority of their parents, and not according to their own wants and desires because until the begin to learn otherwise, they are sinful sinners, saved by grace, who need a little guidance ... just like all of us. Right?

Principle 4: The Most Important Duty of Parenting Is the Care of Your Child's Soul

The most important thing that you can do as a parent - the best way you can love them, is to consider the well-being of their soul. It is your job as a parent to consider and nurture the spiritual well-being of your child's soul. If you think about it, no other part of their being is as important as the soul because it is the part that will never die. Soccer tournaments, band practices, school, social clubs will all pass away but the eternal soul that God has placed in all of us will live forever. (These other things are important and good but must be put into perspective.)

Ryle encourages us about caring for our child's soul: "[What about my child's soul] is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your child." I don't know about you but that scares me a great deal. I often cry out (inside), "Lord what do I do? How do I care for my child's soul?" Again Ryle has some encouragement for us here, "In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, How will this affect their souls?"

I can't help but wonder if we are at times teaching our children to love the world more than we are encouraging them to love God. We often times center our whole parenting lives around indulging our children with all the worldly pleasures that we can find...and no doubt seeing our children happy gives them and us great joy; but are we really loving them by doing this? Are we hiding the ultimate truth to happiness by doing this? If the chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever, then is all the "stuff" that we are doing for them - does it drive them to love God and know Him more?

A godly parent is one that is willing to be different - heck even be down right weird when it comes to making godly, parenting decisions. What I mean is a godly parent, that wants to train his child for heaven, must be will to do things that go against the flow. What does this look like for you? Maybe no soccer on Sunday? Maybe just limiting activities in general? Maybe not giving our children everything they desire? Maybe a family night that centers around God's Word? Maybe we as parents need to be willing to be "strange" because our parenting is so counter-cultural.

Life is short. The time of being a child is short. The world cannot offer the things that are eternally satisfying. Wise parents are those that train their children for heaven. Wise parenting means training a child to please and follow God, rather than pleasing and following their peers.

Parents, let us take heed of this high and mighty calling of nurturing our child's soul.

Are you living with "Wild Things?"

Wild Things:  The Art of Nurturing Boys 

by Stephen James and David Thomas

www.stephenanddavid.com

A Review by Wilson A. Shirley

Probably my favorite childrens book growing up was Where the Wild Things Are.  I'm not sure why - maybe its because I could identify with it growing up with four brothers.  My relatives used to call me "Wild Willy" so I'm sure that had something to do with it.  

I live with two wild things, and maybe even three by August, will see.   Not that my boys are overly ADD and uncontrollable but wild in the since of raw, adventrous, fearless.  I love it when I get home in the evenings and the unsaid announcement begins, "Let the rumpus start" like Max from the Where the Wild Things Are.  I do love my wild things.

I've always wanted to be a good parent.  That was something important to me way back from when I decided I wanted to marry and be a godly husband and dad (I definitley pictured having a boys).  Laura and I have always valued the importance of reading and studying parenting - Lord knows we got the books - I love some books.  However we haven't been able to find many books that I'm willing to say, "read this book, it will help you parent."  Most books are just about parenting.  

Well Wild Things is more than just a book about parenting - it is written by two guys, Stephen James and David Thomas, who are counselors and parents.    They write with great wit and wisdom.  I loved their book Becoming a Dad which I also recommend.

Okay, I must confess, I have not read this entire book, but that is by design.  James and Thomas address five stages of boys and each stage represents an approximate age range so I only read the ones that apply for now.  However, the second half of the book gets into the mind of a boy and is more general.  

I love this book.  It is amazingly practical and funny.  For instance, each section that deals with a certain stage has four parts, 1) The Lay of the Land (what's a boy like at this stage), 2) Who He is (personality). 3) What He Needs (self-explanatory), and 4) Putting the Principles into Practice (actual parenting advice for real-life situations).

If you have boys, read this book.  James and Thomas take adolscence all the way to 22 in this book (which may be a stretch but there are some good arguments for that), which means its never too late.  Even if you have grandchildren read this book so you can HELP!

Read it!  You want be disappointed.  You will laugh, you will cry, and you will be encouraged to parent and love your "wild thing."

Do You Have a "Frantic Family?"

A review on the The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family.

Are you a "frantic family"? I think most families in the 21st century would agree that a little more calm and order in their lives would go a long way for peace and sanity. So, are there some practical things that you can do to bring a little more "method to the madness" when it comes to your family?

Author Patick Lencioni is one of my "go-to-guys" for leadership material. He has written some fantastic books on leadership that apply to a wide variety of leadership positions. His consulting firm, The Table Group, specializes in helping their clients achieve the effectiveness their company needs to succeed.

Over the years of consulting and writing books on leadership, Lencioni noticed a popular theme (or common problem) among the CEOs and leaders that he was working with. That common theme was that most of the leaders agreed that if they ran their businesses like they ran their homes their businesses would crumble. So Lencioni, being a Christian and a family man himself, set off to write a leadership fable to help take the "frantic" out of family life. At this juncture, I heartily recommend The 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family to you.

All of Lencioni's books begin with a fable, a story, that accounts for about 75% of the book. These stories are engaging, fun to read, and best of all, real life! What you may or may not realize is that while you are reading this story he is teaching you - he is teaching you the plan or the model for leadership that you should adapt. In the case of The 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family, Lencioni is using a real family with real issues to help you learn along the way. In the remaining 25% of the book, he explains the "the 3 Big Questions" and tells you how to apply them to your family.

So what is the model? Should I just give it to you so you don't have to read the book? I don't think so - you need to read it - it's just too good. You can pick it up at your local book seller. I will tell you that my family and I have started to apply the model, and we are excited about the possibilities. If nothing else it made us talk about family goals and objectives instead of just assuming that we were on the same page. The 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family got us on the same page. No, this book is not the silver bullet to kill all the craziness of family life, but it is a book that can help you bring into focus what YOUR family needs to be doing at the moment.

To learn more and explore the model, visit: www.thefranticfamily.com

Enjoy!

Principle 3: Train Your Children Realizing That Much Depends On YOU!

We are all shaped by our parents in one way or another. As a young adult think about the number of times you said, "I'm not going to raise my children this way... like my parents did," and then Lo and Behold, you are doing it. Why? Because you have been shaped by your parents, you have learned from them. Ryle says, "We are made what we are by training."

Perhaps nothing is more important in the early years of life than education (aka child training). We place a lot of emphasis on education - especially as Americans. Moms spend countless hours worrying, studying, investigating where they will send their toddlers to preschool and then where they will go to elementary school and so on. High schoolers spend countless hours doing the same thing - figuring out where they will go to college. We invest a lot of time and energy on education. But what about education in the home?

Perhaps no education is more important than what takes place in the home during the early years. Our early habits that are formed come about through early education in the home. Who we are now was shaped very early on from the doctorate degree we earned from home (for most of us this is about 18 years of education).

Think about this for a moment - We are very dependent on those who raise us, are we not? We get our color, taste, likes, dislikes, language, mannerisms, and much more from those who raise us - namely our parents. Again, think back now as an adult how often you catch yourself doing the same things and even saying the same things that your parents did and said. It has been said that 90% of us do what we do, good or bad, because of our early child training. Sounds about right.

All of this is what makes your job, as a parent, so IMPORTANT! God, in His rich mercy, has given children to you with a very impressionable mind - a mind like moist clay ready to be molded and shaped in the way that YOU make it. God gives you a golden opportunity to raise them in a way that pleases the Lord and a way that is for their good. Do not forsake this opportunity! Do not neglect your duty! Do not throw away the opportunity! Once these impressionable years have passed, they are gone for ever. Much depends on you!

One word of caution: Do not become delusional and think that you, as a parent, have no place in the training of your children and that they must just learn for themselves and all you need to do is sit back and wait for grace to intervene and change your child's ways. If you aren't going to train them, somebody else will - namely the world and Satan. The enemies of God would like nothing more than you to neglect your God-given task of raising your child in the way he should go.

As you go forth in your parenting, go forth with the knowledge that God has commanded you to train your child in the way he should go and God will not call you to any task for which He does not supply the grace for you to perform the task or duty. The path of obedience to His commands and teachings is the path that God will bless.

I leave you with this profound thought from Ryle: "We have only to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water-pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn water into wine."

How Do I Raise My Children to Be Godly?

"What must I do to teach my children to be godly?" is a question you might have pondered, or something like that. Pastor Allen Baker gives us great insight into this most holy call of all parents. You may find the devotion by clicking here! Please read this article - you will be glad you did!

Is It Okay That My Daughter is Reading "Twlight?"

Needless to say the book Twlight is somewhat of a craze among teenager women right now and to say that it is "somewhat of a craze" is an understatement. Emily Craft, Womens Student Ministry Coordinator at Highlands Presbyterian Church has written an excellent article critiquing the widely read book.

ATTENTION PARENTS! Got questions about the book and what it is communicating? This is a must read if your child is reading Twlight. Check it out here.

Raising Boys to be Men

I recently came across an excellent resource on this matter of raising boys to be men. Albert Molher's little pamphlet, From Boy to Man - the Marks of Manhood, is an excellent resource.

When does a boy become a man? When do we start to move our boys to manhood? What does moving our boys to manhood look like? Dr. Molher explains.

• From Boy to Man - the Marks of Manhood, part 1
• From Boy to Man - the Marks of Manhood, part 2
  

Beyond the Internet Filter: Are you really stopping your children from viewing elicit material on the world wide web?

Much to my chagrin, I learned today some pretty scary stuff about ways in which pornography can enter your home even when you "think" you are doing everything to stop it. Pastor Brunson passed this article along to me that is a must read for parents seeking to protect their children from elicit material on the Internet.

You can find it here.

Principle 2: Raising Children Should Be Done With Tenderness, Affection, and Most of All PATIENCE!

I'm sure you have heard it said by a parent or more likely from a grandparent, "I spoil my child (or grandchild) because I love them." I'm not sure those two things (spoil and love) go hand and hand all the time. The most important way that we are to demonstrate love toward our children should be to let them see our love. Love needs to take the form of action. Love needs to influence every instance of parenting.

Ryle states, "Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct. Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, patience, forbearance, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys - these are the chords by which a child may be led most easily - these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart."

Often times our parenting turns out to be more like horse training than child training. What do I mean by that? Have you ever turned on the outdoor channel or even better RFD-TV (A 24-hour network with educational and informational programming targeting rural America. RFD TV focuses on rural news, events, and convention coverage, agricultural information and family-oriented programming)? You can see some amazing shows on RFD about training a horse. If you ever catch one of these shows you will notice that these expert horse trainers are very skilled at what they do. You may also notice that when they are training a horse ,the really good trainers are not there to show the horse whose boss. You wont see them trying to drag the horse around by its reigns or beating them into submission. Rather, you will see them drive the horse. They will drive the horse or encourage the horse in one direction or another. If a horse is "hell-bent" on not doing what the trainer wants it to do, the trainer will take all the time it needs to get the horse to perform a certain task. The trainer is never in a hurry, rarely gives up, and is always in the mode of steering the horse rather than "beating the horse into submission to do his will."

Child training is must like training a horse. Grown-ups and children alike are naturally resistant to stern and a severe manner of being dealt with. When a child feels that he or she is being dealt with in a stern or severe way they will react much like an unbroken horse - there might be some major bucking. If we approach child-training in this manner we will find that the child will shut the doors of their hearts and we will grow weary trying to make our way back through the door.

What's the alternative? How can you possibly get a child to listen or do what you ask when they are stubborn and shut-up?

Let them see that you love them! They must see that by your actions and your words that you desire above all else to make them happy. They must sense that your chief purpose is to do them good. They must sense that if you punish them, it is for their good. They must see that you are willing to do whatever it takes to care for them. Do this and they will be won to you. However, in doing this, it must be done in kindness. It must be done with affection if their affections are to be won.

If you are now convinced that your parenting has been more like beating a horse into submission rather than guiding and wooing the child in the direction that you want them to go, then you must not grow weary in well-doing. You cannot expect things to change all at once. It may take months, even years to change a stubborn heart. A child, or even a teenager lacks the wisdom and maturity to be able to change all at once. It will take time. It will take PATIENCE! Without patience, and prayerful obedience to the Lord, nothing good can be accomplished in the life of your child. It is always been helpful for me to remember what I was like when I was a child or teenager. (Wow!)

Again from Ryle, "Love is one grand secret of successful training. Anger and harshness may frighten, but they will not persuade the child that you are right; and if he sees you often out of temper, you will soon cease to have his respect."

As parents, one of our main responsibilities is to make sure that we are constantly in favor with our children. That they know that at any given moment you love them so much that you would die for them at the drop of a coin. They need to feel, see, and have that since of security in your love. On the contrary, it is a dangerous thing to have your child afraid of you and always responding out of fear. Fear smothers love. Fear smothers openness. Fear leads to bottled emotions and feelings. Fear leads to lies.

So may we be tender, may we be loving, and may we be patience as we "train our children in the way they should go."

Principle 1: If You Want to Train Your Child Properly, Train Them in the Way They Should Go and NOT in the Way That They Want to Go!

Remember that all children are born (and adults too) with a propensity towards evil (Psalm 51:5) - this is what it means to be Totally Depraved as the old reformed doctrines states it. We believe this doctrine wholeheartedly because it informs us how we are to view God, man, and life in general. Therefore, if you let your children choose for themselves and make all the big decisions in life by themselves, they will most definitely choose wrong. We must remember the age old principle that the "heart is deceitful" and "prone to wonder" (Jeremiah 17:9).

We don't know exactly what our children will when the "grow up," especially when they are infants. Will they be tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish, doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc. All of these things are really just unknown when you have young children. However, there is one thing that your child will most definitely be: a sinner. All children will have and do have a sinful and corrupt heart. It is our human nature to do wrong. This is one of the reasons why they need parents.

So if you want to parent wisely and diligently, according to God's direction, you must not leave the child to their own way and their own will. Being a godly parent means thinking for your children and making sound judgments for them. Parenting according to God's standards means not leaving your child to their natural inclinations.

You must know that as a parent, you have been given the god-given rite to decide what is good for your child's mind and soul, what they should eat and drink, and what they should wear, etc... You are called to be consistent and faithful in your parenting according to this principle. God wants us to train our children in a way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that a child thinks is best for him or her.

If you do not decidedly affirm this first principle of Christian parenting, then raising a child in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" will be extremely difficult. A child's desire to self-govern is the first thing that can appear in a young adolescence's mind, and it must be your first action in parenting to resist the temptation to give into your child's every desire to fulfill their happiness at all cost.

Parents, remember that in your parenting, the goal of parenting children through the infant, toddler, elementary, and adolescent years is to train your child in light of the fact that one day they will be an adult. They will be an adult more of their life than they will be a child so it is imperative that this principle informs the way we parent - this is what it means to train them in the way they should go - guiding them into adulthood, not dropping them off at the steps of adulthood.